I’ve never been one to keep secrets, and I have always been pretty open with my life and what’s going on. As a result, I told close friends and family pretty immediately that we were trying to conceive. I was excited and really wanted to share! Little did I know our road to conception was going to be quite the long journey! It took us a year and a half to conceive. After about six months, I started wishing I’d never told anyone.
Suddenly, this emotional journey (not to mention my sex life) was on display. People felt like they had a right to offer their advice and opinions. Everyone had good intentions, but the daily questions of “are you pregnant yet?” were pretty deflating when I was already super emotional and disappointed that it hadn’t happened for us yet.
I waited to tell coworkers until it started impacting my work. The process impacted my work in a couple of ways. Emotionally I was a mess. I wasn’t as prepared to teach my high school classroom as a result. I wasn’t as focused in meetings, etc. Also, my time wasn’t my own anymore. I had to start making appointments. I had to leave early to get to them on time or come in late, etc. I even had to schedule surgery for my infertility. So, work needed to know.
At this point, everyone except the Facebook world knew my “status.” Word spread quickly, though, so people that I hardly talked to felt they had the right to come talk to me about this private situation.
Mere acquaintances told me their tricks to conceiving. I was to relax and stop trying. There were apparently certain sexual positions I should try. I should be elevating my legs after sex. My husband should refrain from pleasing himself at other times … Oh. My. Gosh! The list went on and on. Embarrassing, inappropriate topics were being brought up to me all the time without my consent. I felt like I was on display for the world to see. Except, no one could see the hurt or the disappointment I felt month after month. No one knew how sad this journey had made me.
The positive side was that I did feel like I had a support system. People were on my side. I could talk about things if I needed to. The reality, however, is that I only wanted and needed to talk to my husband. He was and is my rock.
So, next time I plan on keeping my trying-to-conceive journey to myself. I might tell my parents … maybe. I honestly doubt it, though. I’d rather surprise them with the good news when it happens, and keep my personal journey between my husband and myself.
*This post is sponsored by vitaMedMD, a division of TherapeuticsMD. I received compensation in exchange for writing this article. Although this post is sponsored, all opinions are my own and I do not have any relationship to the companies or brands I suggest.